Ghetto wedding

You've been to a ghetto wedding if:

1.  Your invitation arrives 4 days before the wedding.

2.  The programs weren't there yet. When they got there, you had to beg the hostess to give you one.

3.  The usher didn't know which side of the church was the Bride's or the Groom's.

4.  The wedding started an hour after the time on the invitation.

5.  There were visible safety pins in the bridesmaid's dresses.

6.  The groomsman had his tux leg rolled up.

7.  You smelled marijuana as the wedding party went down the aisle.

8.  The bridesmaid answered a cellular phone during the ceremony.

9.  The unity candles won't light.

10. The preacher's beeper goes off.

11. The vocalist didn't know the words to the songs.

12. The parents of the Bride and Groom were under 30 years old.

13. The Bride's hair had grown 14 inches in a week.

14. A member of the wedding party was wearing sunglasses in the church.

15. There were more than 40 people in the wedding party.

16. The mother of the Groom had her shoes off during the ceremony.

17. Her 8-year-old uncle gave the bride away.

18. The groom's ex was found hiding under a pew right before the preacher asked for "objections".

19. You noticed the price tags hanging under the arms of several of the bridesmaid’s gowns (they plan on taking back the dresses if they don’t get spots on them)

20. The happy couple already had kids; and most of them were in the wedding.

21. Music by Luther, Diana Ross and Lionel Richie was played at the reception.

22. The champagne toast was Asti Spumanti.

23. The strippers from the bachelor party were in the audience.

24. The couple's first dance was to a song by "Puff Daddy".

25. The LECTRICK SLIDE (electric slide) was played at least five times.

26. The wedding cake was from Sam's Club.

27. The lady serving the punch advised you to keep your cup.

28. Tuna fish and pimento cheese sandwiches were rationed.

29. You saw groomsmen making trips to 7-11 and KFC to restock the buffet.

30. At least one fight broke out (usually the bridesmaids fighting
over the bouquet)

31. The best man made the toast and called the bride by the wrong name.

32. The DJ had an entourage of 8 or more people.

33. The photographer took 1,762,491 pictures (and none of them came out) and finally...

34. The Bride and Groom rode off standing up in the limousine's sunroof.